Project Butterfly Day 1: Calm down and Stay Positive

I told my best friend, R, that I would be blogging about her. She's been going through a rough patch recently. About 7 years ago, she embarked on one of the toughest careers possible. She decided to dedicate her life to her husband and child, and be at their whim and fancy.

For many, this seems like the dream. The TaiTai life.. sit at home, do nothing. Oh really? If you have any stay-at-home mummy friends, you'd realize that the reality is a far cry from the illusion that you imagined. For an insight, check out The Matt Walsh Blog - "You're a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?

Anyway, in my honest opinion, when you dedicated your life to everyone else, you lose yourself.

I asked her a simple question "Tell me what do you like to do? What would make you happy? Forget about everyone else for now. I am asking about YOU."

She thought long and hard, and her answer was "Oh gosh.. I dont know."

She genuinely couldnt conceive an answer.

Do you know the feeling?

Maybe it's a girl thing. When we get into a relationship, we fall into the trap of being dependant. Slowly, but surely. First it could be physical (ie, driving, getting groceries.. waiting for the husband to come get us), or maybe emotional (if these words sound familiar: "when are you coming home?" "where are you? why arent you here yet?") It soulds absurd, because before the relationship, we could well do everything ourselves. Little by little, we began to lose ourselves and become dependant. It's a subtle process.. like putting a frog in cold water, and boiling it so that it doesnt realize.

A guy friend of mine, Sam, said aptly. "Men are good at making women dependant. It's what we do. And when you do become dependant that we (men) start disliking it."

Ironic, huh?

Did you laugh out loud? You should!

So I wanted my best friend to get her groove back. She used to drive herself cross country when we were studying. All of a sudden, after the birth of her child, she developed a fear for driving. I also wanted her to pull herself together. In a relationship, the one that waits, gets hurt the most. Men and women are wired differently. If you have not read John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", do pick it up!

Women, we'll never win men over on the waiting game. They are better at it. TONS better. So if you are thinking of emotional blackmail, and "waiting" for him to come around, best that you do something else. His "tidak-apa" (nonchalant) attitude, and ability to be indifferent far surpasses ours. So save yourself the heartache. Calm down and stay positive.

I whisked R over to Ravissante one afternoon, and we spent hours of girly time..we talked, and talked and talked. We did facial, body massage and traditional bamboo cupping; feeding her emotionally and literally because she lost her appitite that morning. After the treatments (her favourite is Ravissante's Traditional Bamboo Cupping, by the way) making her beautiful both inside and out, her face lighted up. Her spirit too.    

My Butterfly
I designed this for an online project..I cant remember.. maybe it was for Amnesty International 

She pledged to start thinking about herself more. Slowly, but surely, she'd go back to being the beautiful butterfly she always is. My team and I at Ravissante will be here to help her. I'm putting her through a 90 day transformation to find herself.. be happy, well, and ravissante ;)

Love you, R.

Luv, 
Jane