Being Emotionally Independent
I read this quote today on Facebook, posted by my friend Evelyn.
I couldn't agree more. As a woman, I find that I based my happiness on someone else, other than myself. And for a long time, I struggled with understanding that true happiness actually comes from within, and is truly not something that someone else can give to you. If it is, then it can be easily taken away too, and I definitely don't want that!
For instance, when I get into a relationship, subconsciously or consciously I am very attached to my partner. It is a need that every, if not, most women would have; to want to see her partner as often as possible and sometimes to a partner's perspective "into suffocation". Maybe there is no gender biasness here, as maybe men do feel this as much as women... but I can only speak on behalf of the women ;)
I would want to know where is he, what is he doing, is he thinking of me, am I important... etc. When I do know, and often enough I would need to be constantly reminded, I would feel happy. Childish? Yes, I know. Insecure? Yes, I am. I believe all of us are. It makes me happy when I see him. It makes me happy when he calls me. It makes me happy when he is always with me. Ahh... but there is only 24 hours in a day, lets be realistic. Its not physically possible. Last thing I want is for him to think that being with me is a chore. Then all hell would break lose!
You see, its quite irrational when it comes to emotions. Have you ever had that terrible feeling that eats you up inside when he doesn't call, or when he doesn't take your calls? Worst when he doesn't call back. I call it my insecurity complex. I believe every woman has one. We have this need to always feel loved, always be pampered, always be assured and always be of upmost importance in our man's life. Then we'll be happy.
My point is, women need to be emotionally independent. Meaning that we should be able to stand on our own two feet, and not depend on any man to make us happy. Of course, it would be lovely if they can make us happy, or if they are making us happy already; but to depend on them for it is not a good thing. Why? What happens when he is not available? What happens when he is no longer around? What happens if he just decided one day that he doesn't want to make you happy anymore? I know its a painful feeling, and not something I would recommend to anyone. One guy once told me "I'm sorry if I don't think about you all the time!".. unfortunately true.
Lets face it. We can continue wishing for Prince Charming, and that he has all the qualities to make you happy forever. If you find him, congratulations! But if not, well, dont beat yourself up too much about it because the average Joe also has flaws. You can't change other people. If you think you can, its madness. The only person you can change is yourself. So like our Ravissante tagline, where beauty is a matter of choice not chance; this too is a matter of choice. So to all you women out there, I hope that you will make that choice to be emotionally independent, and take charge of your own happiness, so that even whether you are happily single or in a relationship, you will feel happy even if you are left alone :)
Have an awesome Monday! Stay Ravissante!
For instance, when I get into a relationship, subconsciously or consciously I am very attached to my partner. It is a need that every, if not, most women would have; to want to see her partner as often as possible and sometimes to a partner's perspective "into suffocation". Maybe there is no gender biasness here, as maybe men do feel this as much as women... but I can only speak on behalf of the women ;)
I would want to know where is he, what is he doing, is he thinking of me, am I important... etc. When I do know, and often enough I would need to be constantly reminded, I would feel happy. Childish? Yes, I know. Insecure? Yes, I am. I believe all of us are. It makes me happy when I see him. It makes me happy when he calls me. It makes me happy when he is always with me. Ahh... but there is only 24 hours in a day, lets be realistic. Its not physically possible. Last thing I want is for him to think that being with me is a chore. Then all hell would break lose!
You see, its quite irrational when it comes to emotions. Have you ever had that terrible feeling that eats you up inside when he doesn't call, or when he doesn't take your calls? Worst when he doesn't call back. I call it my insecurity complex. I believe every woman has one. We have this need to always feel loved, always be pampered, always be assured and always be of upmost importance in our man's life. Then we'll be happy.
My point is, women need to be emotionally independent. Meaning that we should be able to stand on our own two feet, and not depend on any man to make us happy. Of course, it would be lovely if they can make us happy, or if they are making us happy already; but to depend on them for it is not a good thing. Why? What happens when he is not available? What happens when he is no longer around? What happens if he just decided one day that he doesn't want to make you happy anymore? I know its a painful feeling, and not something I would recommend to anyone. One guy once told me "I'm sorry if I don't think about you all the time!".. unfortunately true.
Lets face it. We can continue wishing for Prince Charming, and that he has all the qualities to make you happy forever. If you find him, congratulations! But if not, well, dont beat yourself up too much about it because the average Joe also has flaws. You can't change other people. If you think you can, its madness. The only person you can change is yourself. So like our Ravissante tagline, where beauty is a matter of choice not chance; this too is a matter of choice. So to all you women out there, I hope that you will make that choice to be emotionally independent, and take charge of your own happiness, so that even whether you are happily single or in a relationship, you will feel happy even if you are left alone :)
Have an awesome Monday! Stay Ravissante!
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